My Child Does Not Want To Go To School!
The desire to go to school is different for every child. Some kids love to go to school, they count the hours until it is time to take them to their classroom. Other kids hate school more than anything else in the world. They use all kind of excuses to skip school. School feels like torture for them.
At the beginning of a new year, my friend who runs a kindergarten would have to face a horde of reluctant pre-school students. Parents try various methods from cajoling to beating. I remember having to face the business end of the rattan cane when I was in K1. I quickly found my motivation to attend class the next day. Parents these days are more inclined to negotiate with their children. So how can we convince (cajole, coerce) our little ones to attend school?
One of the biggest reasons for which kids do not want to go to school is the motivation. They just do not feel motivated to go to this place. Sometimes the motivation comes from the fact that the atmosphere in the class is not on the right level. Some teachers are not teaching the kids in a way that grabs their attention. Talk with your kid daily about their lessons, about school in general. See what their lessons are about; see what sounds interesting to them.
Another big reason for which some kids hate school is the fear or the loneliness or in some cases, bullies. Not all kids are sociable enough to make enough friends. (You can check out this Article where I cover the topic on how a shy child can make new friends.) Everyone grows up getting bullied in one way or another, some children more than others. There are bullies at any age, but it is worse for pre-school children who may not have the ability to express their feelings to the parents. A child may not be forthcoming with this bit of information, but the more you talk, the more likely it is for your child to eventually open up about the bullying incidences.
Parent’s attachment is also a huge reason for which young kids do not want to go to school. If a kid was never separated from his parents, going to school and being away from home is going to come as a real shocker to them. According to my friend, this is predominately the fault of the parents. Some parents are unable to stand firm when their children are crying for attention. They hang around outside the school in clear view of the child, and loiter around to school ends. The child will not learn independence this way and knows that crying is the secret weapon to getting what they want.
While I grew up in an environment where treats come in the form of a good beating, I understand that parents these days actually bribe their children with candies and toys if they attend school. While not a big fan of bribery myself, I have had friends who stands by this method defending that such extrinsic motivation will lead to intrinsic motivation, eventually. While there might be some truth to this method, I feel the process takes too long and it opens up the option for escalated negotiation in future.
Do we bribe our children? Do we shower them with love and attention? Or do we reason out with them? What is your preferred method of dealing with your child who refuses to attend school? Share with us your method by dropping us a message here.
Written by Eugene Tay, founder of Brain & Butter and Monsters Under the Bed.
When Eugene was a young boy, he wanted to be an astronaut. When that didn't take off, he decided that he was going to be like Indiana Jones and explore the world as an archaeologist. Eventually, he figured out how he can do both. That's when he became a writer.